One day in the not too distant past, a friend and I were talking on Facebook. She said she was through with her midlife crisis and feeling much better about life in general. I snickered to myself. "I didn't have a midlife crisis," I said snarkily, "I had a midlife apocalypse!"
And so this blog was born.
Some standard disclaimer junk, before I get to the real meat of what's going on, and what makes my midlife crisis so much more fun than yours (get used to sarcasm ~ it flows freely here! On tap! In at least 7 different varieties!):
Point the first: I work for a non-profit organization. All opinions expressed here are solely my own, and are not representative of my employer. No one held a gun to my head and made me start this blog. No one at my job cares if I'm writing it, but just in case....certainly wouldn't want to get Dooced for saying something that my employer disagrees with!
Point the second: My account of my life may be...jazzed up for humor's sake. I don't know about you, but I always think of the truly excellent zingers about 3 hours too late to put them into actual use, so if I say something clever off the cuff, chances are that I actually only thought that in my head and so included it in the story to make the story funnier. What's the point in having a blog if you can't make yourself look good, anyway? ;)
Point the third: If you like what you read, or even if you don't, please leave me a comment. I love debating with strangers. No really. It's not like I have a life anymore, so if you're feeling lucky, go ahead and poke me with a big, pointy stick. If I don't respond to you, it's because I think your point sucks, or maybe I'm just offline to participate in real life for awhile. Whatever. My point is, without interaction, this is just the ramblings of a bored (maybe), pissed off (probably) middle-aged (definitely) woman with a life in tatters. Meh.
Point the fourth: I will occasionally use language that you wouldn't use in church on this here blog. Sorry if this offends your delicate sensibilities. My daddy was a Marine, and I learned to cuss from him, so there ya go. My mom would die if she heard how I interact with my friends, even though I am an adult now. Trust me, I was raised better than that, and I can put on my church lady manners and go anywhere you need me to ~ just not on this blog. Here, I plan to let it all hang out ~ and if that includes some choice expletives, so be it. Deal or leave. Your choice.
Point the fifth: Names have been changed to protect the innocent. And the guilty. And everyone in between. Stories may be fictionalized for fun and profit. (Okay, not for profit, per se, because I don't expect anyone to ever actually read this drivel, but you get my point, right?) Actual events may be closer than they appear. Or further. Or something.
Onward and upward, young Jedi...let's get this party started!